In a deeply personal revelation, BBC broadcaster Victoria Derbyshire revealed that she wrote farewell letters to her sons before undergoing a mastectomy, fearing she might not survive the procedure, amid her cancer.
This confession came during her appearance on the podcast Happy Mum, Happy Baby.
The popular podcast is hosted by presenter Giovanna Fletcher.
Victoria Derbyshire cancer
During the podcast, Victoria discussed the emotions and fears that crossed her mind back in 2015 when she was diagnosed with breast cancer.
The news was as devastating to her family as it was to her.
She recalled how her then 11-year-old son Oliver was angry when she broke the news. Meanwhile, her eight-year-old son Joe found the period “stressful”.
This magnified her anxieties about not waking up from the operation.
“I had this really weird anxiety, maybe it’s rational, that I wasn’t going to wake up after the anesthetic so I wrote each of them a goodbye letter – in case I didn’t wake up,” Victoria confessed.
“Obviously I was going to wake up, because a million people have anaesthetic every day and wake up, but that was the thing that was making me most nervous.
“It wasn’t losing a breast – that was fine, get the cancer out – but what if I don’t see my boys again.”
“I just wanted it on paper”
The possibility of never seeing her sons again drew her to put her deepest feelings into words.
“So I wrote them letters, which I put in my bedside drawer. Mark [her husband] knew where they were in case that would happen,” Victoria continued.
“It was how much I love them, and ‘please remember your manners and will you make sure you’re kind to people.’ All the stuff I say every day anyway, I just wanted it on paper, just so they’d have it.”
The period from suspecting cancer to diagnosis was alarmingly brief for Victoria, taking only five days.
During her battle with cancer, she kept a video diary. She used this to document each step of her journey through chemotherapy, radiotherapy, and finally, the mastectomy.
Following her recovery, Victoria and her long-time partner, Mark Sandell, decided to get married.
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“I wrote them letters, which I put in my bedside drawer,” Victoria said
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